» How to tell you are Iranian آبان 86
 

How to tell you are Iranian
چگونه اثبات کنیم ایرانی هستیم؟

این متن ترجمه نشدست، کل متن رو این زیر می ذارم
متن زیاد مشکل نیست، چند تاشو من می ترجمم، بقیه رو خودتون بترجمید.

How to tell you are Iranian :
If you are a car salesman and at the same time a singer,

If you dress up to go to grocery store,

If you go to a concert but never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink,

If you smoke five packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke,

If you pronounce "Sure": SHOOR,

If your favorite drink is Vodka,

If you are about 35 and have no hair on your head,

If you watch Iranian programs on TV, but always nag about them,

If you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes,

If you call a gas station: gas es steshen,

If you ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house,
If you divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else,
If your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister,

If you used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a gas station,

If you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone but nobody ever calls you,

3 تا پیجر و دو تا خط موبایل (اونم از نوع ایرانسل)، گذاشته تو جیبش، اما از صبح تا شب یه تماس هم نداره

If you claim your dad was a very good friend of the SHAH,
If you don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW

خونه ندارن و بی کارن، اما high class ترین ماشینا رو با قسط و وام و قرض و قوله می خرن.

If you have to shave more than once a day, 
If you were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington D.C

If your in-laws come to visit but never leave,

When they ask "where are you from?" you reply...Italy!! (Yet have a "tasbeeh" in your hand),

Have rice with yogurt using a spoon and fight over its Tahdeeg.

Have an "Aaftaabeh in your Toilet" and if not...water in a milk bottle will do just as good,

توالت آفتابه میخواد، اگه نباشه، شیشه شیر هم خوبه

Invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice...just in case! 

Believe no one else can make Kebab better than us,
Watch Rugby Test Matches, yet play only soccer over the weekends,

Being addicted (so much) to "Tea" that you drink it in a big coffee mug,

Have dogs but don't let them come inside the house,

Complain about everybody's accent, but yours.